Him.

I miss him.  I miss him so much sometimes.  He who drew a smile across my face and made my stomach lurch. He who is ever present in essence when a certain song plays.  He who was inside me so many times.  He who smashed my heart into an infinity of fragments. HIM.

Sometimes I wonder how I can still miss someone who hurt me so profoundly, who I lay awake so many sleepless nights thinking about, wishing he would just love me back.  And suddenly I get it. He also made me feel, really FEEL, the type of feeling that only happens when you're in love, even if not reciprocated.  It's the kind of feeling that can turn an ordinary day into an extraordinary one and suddenly you feel everything! You feel the sun shinning on your skin, the wind blowing through your hair.  Suddenly life is full of opportunity and greatness and you feel like you could just spontaneously combust with emotion at any moment.  It's this airy feeling light as a cloud, and giddy smiles pour out of you.

I don't feel like that anymore.  And perhaps that is what I miss most.