I've given up. It's too much to fight against. It's like singlehandedly trying to stop a nuclear war. Worse, a nuclear war has a solution. A possible one anyway. But trying to stop this is like trying to stop a tornado from forming, or deviating a hurricane from its path, or like such things.

It's too much to fight. It's more than I have in me. I can't do it anymore, it's tearing me down inside. It's deconstructing everything I've ever worked hard to build. It's not fair that everything I've worked so hard at, it's all slipping through my fingers like sand. I've given up trying to fight it, so now I'm a part of it. That's what they say isn't it? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?

Now I just wonder, will it be enough to salvage me?